The best bit of feedback I got on my work in 2020 was from Brilliant, Brilliant, Brilliant, Brilliant, Brilliant author and journalist Joel Golby. During the first UK lockdown last year, he kindly offered to read some early career-stage journalists’ work and give them feedback. After reading this piece I wrote for OneZero about not wanting to buy my then-boyfriend an Alexa for Christmas, he said: “Your first line absolutely fails my own personal 'so?' test, whereby a headline or opening statement can be utterly deflated by just saying 'so?' to it.” Ooft. But it’s a fair comment.
My opening line – “When my partner asked for an Alexa device for Christmas, I refused to buy him one” – doesn’t do anything other than make me look like a mean person. Joel said: “I think there are ways to make that a little livelier (while saying the same thing) that would instantly improve your writing. 'My partner's innocent request for an Alexa this Christmas led to a bizarre data privacy-based tug-of-war in our household', or something. Give me something to keep reading for.”
Joel’s suggestion immediately makes the point of the article clearer: it’s a piece about the futility of trying to resist Amazon’s influence. Essentially, I should’ve got to the damn point quicker. Humans have short attention spans and if you don’t grab their attention from the get-go, they’ll get distracted…
Ever since receiving this feedback, I’ve asked myself ‘So what?’ when I start writing a pitch, or an introduction to a piece that’s been commissioned. It’s how I landed the pitch for my pre-Christmas piece for Metro: ‘More of us should make Do Not Want Christmas gift lists’. Applying Joel’s advice helped me take the idea from ‘look at this weird thing my family do’ to ‘this could actually help other people i) be more eco friendly ii) avoid a negative Christmas experience’.
Especially if you’re more inclined to write personal pieces rather than news or data-led features, I think using the ‘So?’ test saves yourself time, energy and also the embarrassment of sending a half-baked pitch to an editor. If you aren’t sure you have answered the ‘So?’ question, write the opening line to your piece and ask a non-journalist friend to read it. Would they care enough to continue reading? If not, you’ve probably got more work to do before your piece is pitchable.
My week
… in editing
The Indiependent has got off to a cracking start in 2021, with some great music features. This week I enjoyed editing Adam Goldsmith’s article ‘BPI 2020 figures show widening music industry income gap’; Alice Hiley’s great piece ‘Here’s why you need to stop obsessing over Taylor Swift’s love life’ and Sam Lambeth’s list feature ‘10 Midlands music talents to watch in 2021’.
… in writing
Pitches: 6 cold pitches + 1 follow up on a pitch from last week + 2 repitches after OOO/rejection
I got one commission, one out-of-office, and two rejections. I guess the rest is all to play for. I also queried my novel with another literary agency, so fingers crossed!
Commissions: 1 (£200 for 900 words, which ended up as 1600+ words after edits)
I saw a pitch call out on Twitter and threw my hat into the ring, not expecting to hear back. But I got it! Yay.
Articles written: 2
Articles published: 2
I wrote The Indiependent’s ‘Song of the Week’ feature this week. I chose ‘Egocentric’ by Norwegian garage rockers Death By Unga Bunga, as it was exactly the pick-me-up I needed to see me through the first week back at my day-job in marketing.
For the commissioned piece mentioned above, I wrote about how Bridgerton’s sex scenes fail the audience – women and LGBTQ+ people in particular – for Cosmopolitan!
… in listening/watching
I finished Bridgerton after binge-watching the series over New Year. For the benefit of the new subscribers who joined since last week (a whopping 600 of you), I did my undergraduate dissertation on translating Jane Austen’s linguistic consciousness through time. That’s just a posh way of saying I wanted to read/watch a load of trashy adaptations under the guise of academic rigour, so it’s safe to say I’m a fan of all things period drama. Plus the soundtrack was gorgeous. I didn’t know I needed a classical cover of Taylor Swift in my life until now.
… in reading
I’ve been reading Pandora Sykes’ essay collection, How Do We Know We’re Doing It Right? and her ability to go from the personal —> macro —> personal in each essay is really impressive
I finished reading Who Ate All The Squid?, a book about football in South Korea, ahead of an event I’m chairing tonight with the author Devon Rowcliffe. The event is the brainchild of author Dominic Stevenson, whose book Get Your Head in the Game: an exploration of football’s complex relationship with mental health came out last month - I’m looking forward to chatting to the two of them about their work!
I loved the first two series of Nikesh Shukla’s Writing Tips; his advice for planning a novel properly before you start writing helped me successfully finish my 80,000-word manuscript last year. He’s just launched the third series, so subscribe (for free!) here
Bethan Kapur’s piece for VICE ‘How I stopped being an incel and started loving myself’ was really eye-opening
As a longtime fan of Susie Dent’s Word of the Day, I loved Emma Goldberg’s piece for The New York Times ‘The new words for our new misery’
I adored this Keaton Bell interview with Stevie Nicks from November: ‘Stevie Nicks answers all our questions about Harry Styles’
This interview with the woman who called the police on a potato in The Daily Mail was a wild ride, from start to finish
Nick Levine’s VICE piece on the 12 most important UK LGBTQ+ stories of 2020 is must-read
I enjoyed Rebecca Nicholson’s interview with Sex Education star Emma Mackey for The Guardian
Emma Wilkes’ feature for The Forty-Five on ‘How Bandcamp Fridays became a beacon of light for musicians in an otherwise gloomy year’ was uplifting
Lynsey Hanley’s piece on what five years without David Bowie has taught us for The Guardian was excellent
Rachel Handler’s investigation into the bizarre bucatini shortage of 2020 for Grub Street is fantastic
Events
I’m going to ‘Being an LGBTQ+ journalist’ on 11 January from 7.00 pm. It’s a Gals in Journalism event with Lowie Trevena.
I’ve booked onto Helen Lewis’ long-form journalism event at 8.00 pm on 18 January – you can sign up here. I’m also going to this talk with The New York Times’ Alex Marshall on 19 January at 6.00 pm.
Opportunities
Birmingham: Press and PR gig here for an unidentified company - how bizarre (yes, I spend too much time on TikTok)
Bradford: Number One Capital is looking for a social media executive
Bristol: A senior broadcast journalist role with Global here
Dundee: The University of Dundee is looking for a marketing and communications officer
Edinburgh: Shelter is still looking for a digital content producer
Edinburgh: Sunshine Communications wants a word wizard (a much cooler name for a copywriter, if you ask us)
Edinburgh: Sight Scotland is looking for a digital marketing and fundraising officer
Edinburgh: The Scottish Parliament is looking for a broadcast engineer
Edinburgh: Heriot-Watt University is looking for a content and social media manager
Edinburgh: The Scottish Government is looking for a communications officer
Glasgow: The University of Glasgow is looking for a dynamic digital content officer
Glasgow: Sourcing Cars is looking for a digital marketer / social media guru
Leeds: Dandy Marketing Agency is looking for an SEO executive on a 6-month contract
Leeds: twentysix is looking for a PR campaign manager - don’t you hate company names all in lowercase?
Leeds: Blue Digital Group is looking for a digital PR specialist
Leicester: Rail Media is looking for a journalist
Liverpool: G2 Legal Limited is looking for a digital marketing executive
Liverpool: ShortList Recruitment is looking for a social media executive on behalf of an award-winning company
Liverpool: Liverpool Museums is looking for a marketing officer
Liverpool: The University of Liverpool is looking for a digital marketing officer
Manchester: Oscar Technology is looking for a digital PR specialist with a passion for tech and gaming
Manchester: A growing social media agency is looking for a junior content writer
Manchester: The Orchard Agency is looking for a digital content writer
Manchester: The KOMI Group is looking for a junior copywriter
Manchester: Urban Splash is looking for a content creator and writer
Manchester: Dandy Marketing Agency is also looking for an SEO executive on a 6-month contract in Manchester
Newcastle: The same as above, but further North
Newcastle: Newcastle University is looking for a digital content editor
Newcastle: St Cuthbert’s Care is looking for a marketing assistant
Nottingham: The University of Nottingham is looking for a part-time school communications officer
Sheffield: An award-winning tech company wants a digital marketing executive
Stockton-on-Tees: Butterwick Hospice Care is looking for a communications and marketing manager
Stockton-on-Tees: Visualsoft is looking for an SEO content writer
Stoke-on-Trent: Pitch Consultants is looking for a social media account executive
Sunderland: CX Marketing is looking for a digital marketing superstar, so if that’s you, step on up
Sunderland: The University of Sunderland is looking for a digital marketing and SEO coordinator
Sunderland: Wearside Orthodontic Centre is looking for a marketing and social media executive
Tamworth: Crown Couriers is looking for a communications officer
Warrington: Warrington Borough Council is looking for a marketing officer for LiveWire (not to be confused with that site we all used to download dodgy MP3s off)
Wakefield: Engaging Education wants a creative copywriter (maternity cover)
Welwyn Garden City: A features journalist gig here with HR Grapevine
York: York St John Students’ Union is looking for a communications and website coordinator
York: Brook Street is looking for a marketing assistant and researcher
York: York St John University is looking for a marketing officer
PS) It’d be great if you could consider sharing this newsletter on social media: you can tweet me on my personal account @BettyKirkers, or on our official newsletter account @DistrictPeaked
PPS) From the UK and don’t see any jobs for where you’re from? Hit reply and tell me where to focus my efforts next week. So long as it’s not London, I’ll do what I can to find you a job!
So what?
The first thing I did this Sunday morning was sit down and read your blog. It is one of the most valuable ten minutes of my time in weeks.
Your advice on the importance of first lines packed such a powerful learning punch for someone such as myself who is trying to develop a style for writing these type of pieces. In some ways, I wish I had read this yesterday for my latest piece but that’s the beauty of writing - advice makes you want to find a new idea and do better next time!
I love how your blog also gives me a sense of nostalgia. It gives me the same feelings as spending lazy Sunday mornings reading articles in newspapers. I look forward to your blog dropping into my in box each week and I’m really grateful for the time you put into this.
And now to find a new idea for a pitch for a piece to use an attention grabbing first line!